dear brother...

my baby brother, alex:

i wish to get to know you again, the brother that i used to dress up in my clothes, the brother that i used to build forts with and build go-carts with out of the radio flyer.  the brother that i used to wake up with at 6am on christmas morning to open all the christmas presents (yes even ones that weren't ours) - we were best friends...

... and now i feel like i don't even know you any more. i look at you and your eyes are empty.  it hurts me to watch you hurt yourself. and the sad thing is you don't even know you're doing it.  "you're thinking is what got you here" and i wish you would take a step back and realize that your family is not trying to hurt you. alex, i'm not trying to hurt you.. i want to help you. it kills me to be around you.  you're so angry, you're so lost. life is such a beautiful thing... a very beautiful thing, and you're wasting yours. 

i'm reaching out my hand to you, please take it and lets take the first step together. i don't want to see you in pain, mom in pain, and everyone else around you.  there is so much more to life than smoking pot, doing drugs and staying up until the wee hours of the morning on facebook. 

my one birthday wish would be for you to find peace in sobriety and to get help for the anger and confusion you must feel everyday. you're breaking my heart. i hate watching you sink in this sickness. its been too long. its time to live your life.. and to be happy. its time to grow up.